“Yes!” I mean, “No! Yes . . . Maybe?”

DO YOU SAY YES WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO SAY NO? If you’re nodding your head, then you’re not alone. It’s not uncommon for many of you to say Yes to a request or invitation when you really want to say No. Why? Because you’re afraid of not being liked or hurting someone’s feelings.


Saying Yes when you really feel an inward No, only builds anger and resentment within you. And guess what? You don’t become more popular, you become more usable. Saying No doesn’t mean you’re against the person making the request, it just means that you value yourself, your time, and your priorities. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Or what you might expect, more likeable. You might say Yes to picking up a package 35 miles from your home “as a favor,” but I bet you’ll be cursing the entire trip as you inch your way behind a long trail of red lights.

When you start saying No, you might create some enemies in the process. A lot of people want to have others cater to their every whim. After all, they value themselves, their time, and their priorities, hence why they’re getting you to drive 35 miles to pick up a package. If it turns out they don’t like you because you say No, do you really want them in your life?

If you can say Yes and feel no anger and resentment, go ahead, Yes away. But if you feel the slightest tingling of a No, say No. Tell them you wish you could help out, but you can’t at this time. No harm, no foul.

I promise you, in most instances you won’t be disliked; you’ll only be respected and appreciated all the more the next time they ask and you say Yes.