In Part 1 I talked about how challenging relationships are and how difficult it is to have someone say it’s over. But what if you’re the one saying it?
Sometimes being the one who decides to leave a relationship is just as hard as being left. Maybe you really love her, but you’re no longer feeling the love. It’s okay, feelings change. If you’re a kind person, you don’t want to hurt anyone, and that’s why it’s difficult to pull the plug, especially if the relationship has been going on for years.
If feelings do change, or if the flaws are just too much for you to handle, then what? If you feel the only option is breaking things off, then here are some tips for you:
1) Break up in person. Have sympathy for what she may be going through.
2) Once you decide that you want to end things, don’t second-guess your decision. Review the reasons why you want to end the relationship. If there is something which you don’t like, can’t tolerate, or don’t want to, then it’s your right to end things.
3) Make a list of the positive and negatives of the relationship. When or if you have a moment of weakness, go over the list. It will help put things in perspective.
4) Discard anything that reminds you of her. You don’t need it anymore. Keeping it around will just stir up the painful feelings.
5) Don’t place all the blame on her. Take responsibility for your part. Be truthful, but kind.
6) If you know there’s no change of getting back together, don’t leave the door open; make it final.
Breaking up, no matter if it’s the right thing to do, is hard. And being rejected is also painful because it may tap on prior abandonments. Either way, break ups are not pretty for either party. They are however, inevitable. So whether you’re the leaver or the left, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and know that in the end you’re going to be just fine.