Have you ever had one of those dreams where you’re walking down the street and you realize you’re naked? Everyone around you is staring but there’s nothing you can do about it. You feel helpless and ashamed.
Being vulnerable is kind of like that. Only your heart is naked. Maybe that’s even scarier.
The thing is, that in order to have close and intimate relationships with anyone, vulnerable is the only way to be. How can you get to really know someone, or have someone really get to know you, if your heart is not open? Anything else might as well be surface talk, not unlike asking about the weather.
Why is being vulnerable so hard?
1) Fear of being judged.
2) Fear of not being good enough.
3) Fear of getting hurt.
4) Fear of being betrayed.
All of those are valid. Being vulnerable with the wrong person can lead to getting hurt. You have to be smart about choosing to whom you’re going to open up. Not everyone deserves to know your most heartfelt thoughts and feelings.
Having said that, being vulnerable with the right person, can deepen the relationship immensely.
The Japanese say that we wear three faces:
“The first face you show the world.
The second face you show to your close friends and family.
The third face you never show anyone.
It is the truest reflection of who you are.”
You may not want to show your truest reflection to many people, but if you want deep relationships with those you love most, being vulnerable will get you there in a way nothing else can.