Partner or Crutch?

Even the best relationships have their challenges. If you’re in one, you might be struggling to make things work. If you’re not, then you might be looking for someone to fill your “love gap.”

Many of you are looking for love; for someone to complete you. And there are plenty of on-line dating sites to prove it: Match.com, eHarmony, Chemistry.com, OurTime.com, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. But here’s the problem, a lot of what you’re looking for is not love, but a Band-Aid disguised as love. For instance, you might be feeling lonely, so instead of working on trying to figure out why, you start to look for someone who’ll fill your “lonely gap.” Some of you may feel unlovable, and believe that if you find someone to love you, you’ll feel whole.

The core issues aren’t being addressed. Even if you were to find a partner, that partner can easily serve as your crutch. After all, they are the ones helping you feel less lonely and more loved. Do you see how that can make the problem worse? It’s a superficial fix.

At first, it may seem like you’re in paradise. You won’t feel lonely anymore. You might feel so much love that you’re walking on cloud 9. But what if that person you met on Tinder decides they’ve had enough. Maybe they decide you’re not right for them. As soon as they leave, the loneliness will once again engulf you. So you didn’t really solve the problem. At this point, you’ll feel rejected, depressed and move on to OkCupid, where you hope to find your next crutch.

You have to be whole yourself before someone else can step into your life. No one can complete you. You must complete yourself. At that point you will be ready to meet your equal—someone that will be a partner, not a crutch to help you feel better about yourself.

Band-Aids can easily come off. The important thing is to make sure your wound is healed up so you won’t need a Band-Aid anymore!

Looking For Love to Fill -The Gap-