Skin Deep

 

I was at a party recently when I heard someone at my table say, “She was an ugly woman!” Ouch. I don’t know the woman to whom he was referring, but I wouldn’t have wanted to be her.

Several things went through my mind when I looked at the man making the remark. One, who is he to judge her looks? Two, why was he even saying something like that? It is these types of judgments that I often hear; people evaluating other people on their looks, their talents, or lack thereof. Continue reading →

The Beauty of Vulnerability!

 

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you’re walking down the street and you realize you’re naked? Everyone around you is staring but there’s nothing you can do about it. You feel helpless and ashamed.

Being vulnerable is kind of like that. Only your heart is naked. Maybe that’s even scarier. Continue reading →

Beautiful or Average?

 

If you were asked today whether you’re beautiful or average, what would you say?

It turns out most women think they’re average. But are they? Have we been told that we’re just average, when we’re really beautiful, or have we come up with that nonsense on our own? Do we really see ourselves for who we are, or are we wearing some foggy lenses that prevent us from seeing the truth.

In the Dove video above, two different signs were put at the entrance of a store. One sign read Beautiful, the other read, Average. Not surprisingly, most women, given the choice, walked through the average door.

I watched some of the women pause slightly before deciding, others knew right away. I thought the women looked beautiful, yet most of them chose the Average entrance.

I believe we do see ourselves through foggy lenses. It’s been proven repeatedly that we don’t actually see ourselves in the best light.

That needs to change. We have to own who we are. Love and embrace our Being. We are one Being among millions, yet so unique in every way. We really have no competition.

Given the chance, would you choose Beautiful or Average?

I choose Beautiful, and I beg you to do the same. Because you are!

Wish Upon A Star!

Wish Upon a Star

THE CAKE SITS BEFORE YOU, THE CANDLES AGLOW . . . “Make a Wish,” everyone yells. And you do. You close your eyes, blow as hard as you can, and place your order.

Birthdays aren’t the only time wishes are made. It seems they’re pretty common any day, any time.

A wish is defined as “an expression of desire, longing, or strong inclination for a specific thing.” While wishing for things may seem harmless, I wonder if it’s a way of keeping us from doing what we need to do to get whatever we’re wishing for. Maybe as long as we’re wishing, we think we’re “doing” something.

People wish for all kinds of things . . . “I wish I was thinner,” “I wish I’d win the lottery,” “I wish I had a different job,” “I wish I could play the piano,” “I wish I could speak another language, “ “I wish I could meet my soul mate,” etc. Then there are the wishes for things that can’t ever be. “I wish I were shorter/taller,” “I wish my eyes were blue,” “I wish my hair was thicker/thinner,” “I wish my voice wasn’t so high-pitched.” You get the picture.

Making wishes can be fun when you’re wishing on a shooting star, or romantic when throwing a coin into a fountain in Italy. But making wishes in general doesn’t really do much in getting you the results you want. There’s only one thing that will get you that—ACTION!

I propose that instead of wishing, you start doing. Instead of saying you wish you were thinner, look into eating better, and start an exercise regime. Instead of wishing you could play the piano, sign up for the lessons. Can’t afford it? Go on YouTube; you’ll be amazed at how much you can learn. Wish you could speak a different language, get CDs and listen to them in the car. The only thing that gets you what you want is taking some form of action, not wishing for them. It’s not going to show up on your doorstep once the candles are out.

Wishing you were shorter, or taller, that you had a different voice, or that your eyes were blue? Wasted wishes. What’s the point? Just because you wish it, you’re not going to wake up tomorrow three inches shorter or taller. You’re not going to see baby blues in the mirror unless you get colored contacts, and you’re not going to change your voice, no matter how hard you try. So embrace the things about you that can’t be changed. Don’t wish them away. They’re not going anywhere. You are unique because of your differences. Own them. Focus your energy on what you can do, not on wishing for them. Start making your wishes come true by doing what it takes, whatever it takes!

Be Like the Mona Lisa!

 

There is only One of You! How priceless is that?

I often hear about young, 20-something women, bar hopping, and either drinking themselves into a coma-like state, or sleeping with some guy with whom she happens to hit it off. This is not a one-time event, unfortunately; instead it is a regularly scheduled weekend affair.

What these young women don’t understand is their worth. Scarcity, or absence of, is what makes something valuable, more precious. How much do you think the Mona Lisa would be worth if there were multiple copies instead of just the one hanging at the Louvre in Paris? It is estimated that the Mona Lisa is worth ≠£21.5 billion. Because there is only one!

If you considered yourself to be as valuable as the Mona Lisa, you would not be giving yourself away to every cute guy that came along. Instead, you would understand your worth. You would realize that giving yourself away to find love, acceptance, or a daddy figure, just takes away from your true worth.

Be like the Mona Lisa. Priceless! Make people want you because you are a rare gem, and not because you’re some easy-to-get piece of work that can be found at some thrift store, discarded, and undervalued.

Know your worth. You may not be hanging in some museum in Europe, but your worth is equal to that rare and priceless painting.

 

 

 

Looking for the Glass Slipper in All the Wrong Places!

Remember, it was your shoe to being with!

Who isn’t familiar with the story of Cinderella—the girl who was essentially treated as a maid by her stepmother and stepsisters?

Despite being treated unfairly, Cinderella was pretty lucky. Underneath all that soot, and grime, she was pretty. Plus, she had a fairy godmother to help her out. She also had a prince whose attention she caught somehow.

Thanks to her fairy godmother, they come up with an assortment of tricks to make her look like a princess. Of course, she shows up at the ball looking stunning, and all. How can anyone resist? Let alone the hot prince.

Cinderella’s time at the ball is short. She’s only got a few hours to show her wears, and then she has to bolt. Fortunately for her, in her haste, her glass slipper falls off. And who happens to find it? The hot prince, of course!

Essentially an “Amber Alert” goes out to find the girl who will fit the shoe.

Cinderella’s salvation lies in being the perfect fit. Eventually she is found and the slipper slides easily on her foot. Score!

Many women are looking for that hot prince. The one who’ll show up at their doorstep holding a super cool shoe, or maybe a diamond ring that will be slipped on, and save the day.

Don’t hold your breath. That amber alert won’t be going on on your behalf.

The truth of the matter is that the hot prince isn’t going to come save you. You’re forgetting whose shoe it was in the first place. It’s your shoe, that’s why it fits so perfectly.

You have that shoe in your possession. You can save yourself.

Stop looking for the glass slipper in all the wrong places.

You’ve had it all along!

Partner or Crutch?

Even the best relationships have their challenges. If you’re in one, you might be struggling to make things work. If you’re not, then you might be looking for someone to fill your “love gap.”

Many of you are looking for love; for someone to complete you. And there are plenty of on-line dating sites to prove it: Match.com, eHarmony, Chemistry.com, OurTime.com, OkCupid, Tinder, etc. But here’s the problem, a lot of what you’re looking for is not love, but a Band-Aid disguised as love. For instance, you might be feeling lonely, so instead of working on trying to figure out why, you start to look for someone who’ll fill your “lonely gap.” Some of you may feel unlovable, and believe that if you find someone to love you, you’ll feel whole.

The core issues aren’t being addressed. Even if you were to find a partner, that partner can easily serve as your crutch. After all, they are the ones helping you feel less lonely and more loved. Do you see how that can make the problem worse? It’s a superficial fix.

At first, it may seem like you’re in paradise. You won’t feel lonely anymore. You might feel so much love that you’re walking on cloud 9. But what if that person you met on Tinder decides they’ve had enough. Maybe they decide you’re not right for them. As soon as they leave, the loneliness will once again engulf you. So you didn’t really solve the problem. At this point, you’ll feel rejected, depressed and move on to OkCupid, where you hope to find your next crutch.

You have to be whole yourself before someone else can step into your life. No one can complete you. You must complete yourself. At that point you will be ready to meet your equal—someone that will be a partner, not a crutch to help you feel better about yourself.

Band-Aids can easily come off. The important thing is to make sure your wound is healed up so you won’t need a Band-Aid anymore!

Looking For Love to Fill -The Gap-

Love-less on Valentine’s Day?

Hardly!

Valentine’s Day is a day just like any other. Except that’s it’s been given a lot of power. Look around. As the day approaches, all you can see are hearts, Cupids, couples in love, RED everywhere. It stands to reason, then, that if you don’t have a significant other, you might feel left out of the equation. Your self-esteem might drop a few notches. You might start to feel like a third wheel. While all of your couple friends talk about their special “love” plans, you’re thinking, “What am I going to do? I don’t have a mate with whom to share the special day.” And as the day gets closer and closer, you might start to feel depressed. Stop right there!

Are you going to let a day of the week bully you into feeling bad about yourself?

Valentine’s Day is about LOVE! Why does the love have to come from a man or a woman? Why can’t it come from somewhere else? There’s a lot of love in the world. It’s available for the taking. There are family members who love you. There are friends who love you. Love is love. Period. Don’t cry yourself to sleep thinking, “Woe is me. No one loves me.” Nonsense.

The day after VD you’ll wake up and it will be day just like any other day. Possibly there will be lots of sales on the Valentine’s Day stuff that didn’t sell. Because for the most part, Valentine’s Day is a day to make money. The restaurants make money. The florists make money. The card companies make money. The candy stores make money. It’s a very profitable holiday.

Try to see Valentine’s Day for what it really is—just another day. If you want to do something on VD, find someone you love and who loves you. It doesn’t matter if they’re your soul mate, your sister, your cousin, or your best friend. Love is great no matter what the source. Stop fretting about not having a mate. You don’t need one.

So Happy Love Day to You! You are loved whether you think so or not!

Beauty is You!

A lot of you seem to be concerned. About your weight, your hair, the pimple on your face, the hangnail, etc. It’s a constant worry about how you’ll appear to the world. But how much emphasis do you put on how you treat others? How kind are you to your family, friends, strangers on the street?

That’s the real beauty–your kindness to others, the willingness to help, the ability to listen and understand. It doesn’t matter how you look if you’re a kind and loving person. That’s what people will see, remember.

When you’re gone, and one day you will be, what do you want them to say at your funeral? “Boy she had beautiful hair and flawless skin. She was gorgeous.” Or, “He was so handsome; so muscular and good-looking.” Or do you want them to say, “She was always there to listen,” or, “He was always good at fixing things around the house when I had no one else.”

That is what people remember. They don’t care if you were a size 2, or that you could bench press 400 lbs. They’ll remember what you did.

What do you want to leave behind? What do you want people to say about You!?