In the past few weeks I’ve talked to several young women who’ve told me that they’ve been dating (TEXTING) Someone of Interest. Like most young women, they’re excited at the prospect of finding true love. Understandable. What young woman doesn’t want to find their Prince? That’s all well and good, nothing wrong with that. Sounds like the beginnings of a possible love story. And we all love those, don’t we?
There’s one little catch to the blooming love story, however. The young women and the “Prince” aren’t really “going out.” Their relationship is evolving through a series of texts. These beautiful young women are on pins and needles waiting to hear that beautiful alert tone that says their Prince is texting. The problem with this is the following: if the text doesn’t come (when expected, or in a reasonable length of time), a series of negative emotions take over.
1) Anxiety rises.
2) Self-doubt starts to nudge.
3) The analysis begins . . . “Why isn’t he texting? What’s more important? I know he got my text!”
4) The call out to friends to “analyze” in more detail.
5) Self-worth plummets.
6) Confidence flies out the window.
The above emotions may seem dramatic, but this is what happens. In most instances, the relationship has only been going on for a few weeks, yet it can produce emotions so extreme that they ruin the young woman’s day. What’s wrong with this picture?
URGENT MESSAGE to you beautiful women out there: Understand that You are all you need. The fact you want to share your life with someone is great. But remember, that’s all you’re doing. The Prince is NOT your life! Don’t wait in agony for a text that may never come, or come later than you expect. More importantly, don’t attach so much importance to the text that, if it’s not received, it sends you into a tailspin. Nothing or no one should have that much power. Don’t determine your lovability on the validation of someone else. After all, if you don’t love yourself enough, why should anyone else?
The Power is in You!!! Own it. Don’t give it away to someone who basically appears to you in words, on an itty-bitty phone! Don’t lose yourself, who you are, on the basis of whether or not you receive a text. That text doesn’t make you You! If it did, who were you before you started Texting the “Prince?”