I was talking to a young man recently who is in a fairly new relationship. During our conversation he told me about some things he’d told his girlfriend, mainly lies, because he knew that telling her the truth would result in an argument.
The lies consisted of telling her that he was going to be somewhere when in fact he’d be somewhere else. This young man wasn’t doing anything wrong, but knew the possessive girlfriend would not like it. So instead of telling her the truth, he lied; told her he was working when he was really fishing with his friends. When I asked him why he’d lied about something so innocent, he said, “It’s just easier that way.” He preferred to lie rather than get into an argument with her.
Here’s the problem: relationships based on lies aren’t built on a solid foundation. The smallest little jolt and the foundation cracks. Doing something or saying something because it’s easier doesn’t work. Eventually the lies get discovered and now you have a bigger problem on your hands. At that point you’ve lost all credibility. Regaining trust takes a long time. Sometimes you don’t regain it at all.
If your mate can’t deal with the truth, maybe you need to reconsider being with that mate. You need to be with someone with whom you can be truthful and honest; with whom you can be yourself. If the relationship is going to last, it has to be that way. And if your mate doesn’t like what you’re doing, either stop doing it, or leave him or her. Lying to keep a relationship alive is like artificial resuscitation; only a temporary measure. You have to fix what is wrong; go to the core.
Easier isn’t always the best route to take. The hard road is often difficult, but in the end it’s the only way.