Neil Sedaka had it right when he sang that breaking up was hard to do.
Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, it is always a painful process.
If you’re the one doing the dumping, you might feel some guilt and uncertainty, but you’ll move on quicker, especially if you are moving on with someone else.
If you are the one that has been left behind, things may be a little harder. You might go into denial, “No, he can’t leave me! No one is going to love him as much as I do!” Then you figure out that, yeah, he is leaving you and moving on with the hot blonde from the gym. Then you’ll probably get really mad! “I can’t believe he left me for her! What’s she got that I haven’t got? He’s a monster!” Once your anger subsides, you start thinking, “Well, maybe if I’d been a nicer girlfriend, he wouldn’t have left me. Maybe I can win him back with my kindness and that chocolate cake he used to love.” Yeah, bargaining probably won’t work, and then you’ll get depressed.
Maybe you’ll start watching sad movies, eating comfort foods, and having hour-long conversations with your friends who, of course, will agree with you that he’s a MONSTER!
Eventually you have to accept it: you were dumped. So what can you do to help with the grieving process?
1) Block him from all Social Media. It will not help you heal to watch his relationship status change, or to see him having fun with the hot blonde from the gym at your favorite restaurant.
2) Do not suggest that you stay friends. It may be easier for him since he left you, but it will more than likely be hell for you.
3) Whatever you do, don’t DRUNK TEXT. You’ll regret it in the morning. As a matter of fact, if you go out with the girls, make a deal with them to stop you if they see you pulling out your smart phone.
4) See this time in your life as a NEW START. Set some new goals. Re-invent yourself, if you’re so inclined. There is no stopping you.
5) Do the things you’ve always wanted to do but never did because you were too comfy in HIS arms.
6) Don’t stay cooped up inside the house. That’s the worst thing you can do. Step outside. Go hiking. Spend as much time outdoors as you can. Become one with nature.
7) Reach out to supportive friends and family. Do not spend unnecessary time with naysayers; those people will bring you down even more.
8) Don’t start scheming. Yes, scheming! Trying to find ways to win him back. Maybe making your way to the gym at 6:00 p.m. because you know he’ll be there pumping iron. Let him go! You can’t make the Band-aid stick exactly the same after it’s been pulled off.
9) Don’t start dating again right away. Give yourself some time. Rebounds rarely, if ever, work. Don’t set yourself up for more heartbreak.
10) If you feel you need to get some closure and didn’t get to tell him a thing or two, write him a letter; go at it, but DON’T MAIL IT!
11) Don’t blame your EX for everything. Sometimes people just fall out of love; and sometimes relationships just aren’t a good fit.
12) Stop over-analyzing everything. Get out of your head. You may never know the true reason he left you. Don’t take it personally.
You may not feel it now, but time is a great healer. It’s hard to know, but he may have done you a huge favor by leaving you. Maybe he made you available for THE ONE when the time is right.
Hang in there, things will be okay!