When you first meet your “dream” person, everything appears to be dream-like. Everything appears to be “perfect.” But since nothing is perfect, or can remain dream-like forever, flaws start to surface, not unlike painful pimples on a flawless face. Often, before you start to notice that not everything is like you thought, a lot of time has been invested, so ending the relationship seems too harsh a choice. So you put up with it.
But here’s what can happen. You know your dream person is no longer a dream. He/she starts to pick at you, attempt to control your every move. Or maybe you just have very different approaches to doing things and you’re constantly clashing. And since you don’t like confrontations, you do nothing but nod, and say, “Yeah, babe!” You may be saying one thing, but you’re doing another. Lying.
You start lying about where you’re going, what you’re doing, whom you spend your time with, etc., all in an effort to avoid THE INEVITABLE CONFRONTATION. It may seem to work for a while; you get to do what you want, when you want and he/she is non the wiser. But eventually, the truth will surface, just like the flaws, and your relationship will collapse, just like that house with the splintered stilts.
A relationship, in order for it to be successful, must be built on a solid foundation of:
Imagine those as the stilts of your foundation. They must be strong enough to hold that relationship up for as long as you want to have it.
Prevent the collapse of your relationship by living honestly. If you find out your mate doesn’t approve, then that’s not the mate for you, and it’s better to end it. But until then, do the best you can to provide a sound structure. It can still shake a bit at times, but you won’t get buried under the rubble.